Saturday, November 7, 2009 at 1:57pm

Written in a VERY emotional state and just remember, I AM NOT ANGRY. This is CONSTRUCTIVE! So comment away...I can accept flames...so go ahead...if. you. dare. (JOKE! XD) Moving on...

As I was going through the shots that were taken on our photoshoot that was post-phoned over a year now, I realized that it was a good thing, we delayed it. I remembered a year ago that the members kept on bugging me about having a photoshoot. I know most of them must have thought to do it...and I respect that. Riiiiggghhhttt??? (looking at the team) I shut them out knowing that it will be impossible - more on what I perceived as one, a production-less photoshoot. I have nothing against my members when they say that they don't care if the shots look a bit off. I understand that it's all about the FUN. I think, it is a good and at the same time, a bad side of me to see things differently. I respect my team's longing for fun (smiles at team) and for doing their best to tell the world that WE exist. But honestly, and I am now in my MEAN self, the WORLD will not see US if WE only go for MEDIOCRITY. It is a harsh reality - a reality that WE must slowly FACE and BREAK.

TO THE TEAM
As cosplayers, we all know one thing that is crucial. WE must look like THEM. The photoshoot is a Tribute to the Feast of the Dead and I for one found it simple. In my opinion, the subject we chose is out of mediocrity, lack of preparation and at the same time, desperation for a photoshoot (rofl). I will not deny that it is my fault we got delayed. J-chan was so excited a year ago and I am very sorry for raining on your parade. (pinches J-chan) And for my reasons, I want you guys to listen to the unspoken words I've been wanting to say but...well...I am mean but too kind to KILL all of you so lend me your ears.

I can not help judging every little detail that we do. As you already know, I want everything to look perfect - YOU, the location, the schedule, and the crew. I can not help it because I was trained to do it systematically. Before we decided to photoshoot, I have been pondering on the possibility when I was visiting the tombs of my relatives from La Castellana to Ma-ao to Sum-ag and back here. And maybe it was because I was also sad that I wasn't able to cosplay last month. I'm sounding a little selfish here but...aren't we all? You guys know how that SUCKS. So when I got home, I began formulating everything in my head, checking schedules and contacting people who are willing to help. When I get into this mood, things get done and things...got done. I want you guys to get to know your crew because without them, we won't look as good as we did.

PRODUCTION. A good production not only ensures great shots in photoshoots but also a clean and peaceful project. These two girls are treasures. They have been to so many productions and you can tell how they're very serious about it. I am proud to say, they are a part of the team and will be from here on out. Thanks so much, Saki and Antot(rotots)! For those who were not able to join the photoshoot, please know the people who will be your Da Vincis.

LIGHTS & PHOTO: Antots & Saki

I believe firmly that everything is fated. It all started a few months ago. Saki is one person I met last April. She was with us, helping us with Direk Gab's Work-in-Progress Play, "Ang Pagtabok". I was surprised at first when she started taking pictures of the production group and thought that it was her hobby. Anne was the one who told me she is an amazing photographer. We didn't get to know much about each other because we were too busy making costumes and helping the production group but it was enough to create a bond. When I was planning our photoshoot, SHE came to mind. I saw her shots back then and I know how capable she is. So I tried asking for her help as a "FOR-THE-LOVE" photographer. I was a little embarrassed that I can not give her a talent fee even when I know how good she is. Like all the artists I've worked with who works not for money but for the LOVE, she agreed.

I have a photographer, now a crew member. Anne has always been beside me from the moment we met. She has been in the production business since she was 1st year in college...and when it comes to technicalities, don't argue with her. This chick knows what she's doing. It was Cindy Ballesteros and Rene Barrera's fault for inviting me to join Direk Peq's play. She was a bit bitter about being assigned to the wardrobe at that time...and ended up with me. (Toink!) She gave me the biggest support when I exhibited my artwork in the National Museum by helping me with the artwork and even scheduling her classes just to go with me to Manila for a week of set-up. And people...it's all FOR-THE-LOVE. Anne, I am very thankful. I know sometimes...or most of the times I'm a bit mean...but I mean well... Don't take my grumblings seriously. I know that you know I don't grudge. Next time, let's cosplay MonoKuroBoo. LOL! I would've wanted to invite more people to help and I know that they will...all FOR-THE-LOVE. But I know I can not cater to all their basic needs - water, food, etc. This production has no money involved in it. And as the Head, this really bothers me because you know how good your crew is but you can't compensate them. If only I am rich enough to pay you guys...

BACK to my TEAM. I hope you understand how LUCKY you guys are to have such a small BUT capable production crew. As I screen the pics, there is no doubt, they did their job. I also wanted to press on further. Please be responsible, if not...try to care for people who care for you. This is the very purpose of me writing this. It is a give and take thing, guys. They make you look good so please be a bit considerate about things. WE are not MODELS here. We are practically the ones who wanted our pix taken. We owe a lot to them.

I would have to say there are a lot of things to be learned. YES, we are a TEAM. But what is teamwork when we don't even CARE for each other? We all must do things independently sometimes and try to reflect on that. What happened this photoshoot? What did we lack? To other members, it may look as if everything went smoothly... That's a selfish thing to say. When you say everything went great it means that you are only looking at your own EVERYTHING. It did not. And unlike the others, I don't want to shut my mouth about this though I've already threw the anger out the window. I have taken the extra measure to get professional make up artists to join us next year and seeing how things went...I'm having second thoughts now. I don't want to spoil US either. I don't want US to be MODELS. We are COSPLAYERS.

For the record, I am not angry. I am a bit disappointed at how fickle we are. I hope in the next project, we fix things. We are a Work-In-Progress after all. This production will carry on. Plans have been made. Future projects have been decided... Let us strive to be better Cosplayers...not only because we look the part, but also because we are bonded as one.

You know that I'm very proud of you guys... But you know also that I don't stop there... If need be, I will push you off a cliff...I will just to see you fly. FACE IT, GUYS! We are RUSTY! (not to say...fat T_T)



Love and Peace,
katz